Updated: Jun 14, 2020
If you’ve been to the shop, you know that our staff is basically a collection of dudes who cut meat and prepare food, often while wearing cargo shorts. When we go home, we mow the lawn and adjust the thermostat… also in cargo shorts. It should come as no surprise that Father’s Day is circled on our calendars.
To get ourselves psyched for Father’s Day this year, we asked ourselves a question: what would we serve our favorite TV dads for Father’s Day dinner? We took that conversation way more seriously than well-adjusted people should. The debate got heated.
“What awould you make for Walter White?”
“He’s the wrong kind of cook, and I’m not making him dinner!”
“I could see Walter White being a really big fried chicken guy, though.”
“Then get him a bucket of Pollos Hermanos and move on, I’m not dredging chicken for him!”
Some feelings were probably hurt. But it was all worth it, because it resulted in this list of our favorite TV dads and what we’d make them for Father’s Day. We also decided to turn it into our official Father's Day Menu.
Ron Swanson from Parks & Recreation
Ron Swanson’s appetite for meat was nearly as legendary as his woodworking skills and general utility when working with his hands. He gave us a good window into what he really wanted for Father’s Day Dinner when he said, “I call this turf ‘n’ turf. It’s a 16-ounce t-bone and 24-ounce porterhouse. Also whiskey and a cigar. I am going to consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American.” Amen. Ron Swanson gets a pepper, onion, and provolone cheese pork sausage as an appetizer before we serve up a thick t-bone steak with a fully loaded baked potato stuffed to the gills with bacon and a side of creamed spinach.
Phillip Banks from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Uncle Phil was a classy guy who knew a thing or two about how to appreciate the finer things in life. He was a sitting judge with a fancy Bel-Air address, an English butler, and closet full of magnificent sweater vests. He never hesitated to get rid of thing he wasn’t pleased with, which is why Uncle Phil only gets the best: medium rare filet, mashed potatoes, and asparagus.
Tony Danza from Who’s the Boss
Yes, we know his name on the show was Tony Micelli, but he’s always Tony Danza. We’re pretty sure that’s something all reasonable people agree on. Anyway, on the show Tony was a widower and former baseball player who brought his daughter to Connecticut where he worked as a live-in housekeeper. We suspect he made a dynamite sauce, which is why for this Father’s Day we’re making him our Sunday Sauce. Also, did you know Tony Danza wrote a cookbook called Don’t Fill Up on the Antipasto like 10 year ago? That’s bonkers. While the sauce is getting ready, we’ll also serve him our antipasto to see if he can take his own advice.
Phil Dunphy from Modern Family
He’s not the brightest crayon in the box, but Phil Dunphy knows how to enjoy life’s simple pleasures like a hot grill, cold beer, and a good magic trick. That’s why we’re giving him the basics: a plate of wings for an appetizer, a cheeseburger on one of our housemade brioche buns, a hot dog with relish, macaroni salad, and some grilled veggies.
Frank Costanza from Seinfeld
Mr. Costanza was the everyman icon who had it all figured out. His no-frills approach to life delivered his own made up holiday, Festivus, allowing him to ditch an overly-hyped Christmas tree for a far less flashy aluminum pole, which he celebrated for its high strength to weight ratio. Festivus began with the airing of grievances and ended when George pinned his father as a part of the feats of strength. In his later years, we suspect Frank probably could’ve used a weapon of some sort to fend of George, so we’re making him a tomahawk steak with potato wedges and charred brussel sprouts. Serenity now!